It might just be a Paternal Love

It's my Life, relationship No Comments »

Well, that’s what I keep telling myself for a day now. I keep on telling my heart and mind that it wasn’t a romantic love that I felt. There wasn’t and there isn’t any at all. Maybe it was just plain paternal love and friendship love that I found. I don’t know.. :( But maybe it is.. And I guess that it should be the kind of thinking I should have. It should be the kind of feeling I should feel. :(

It has been quite a while since I see him and been with him. When we met again, the feeling I had for him seems to rekindle again. When he held my hand, I felt the electricity I once felt. My heart started beating fast.

Well, maybe he’s really like that. Maybe he really treats his subordinates like that. I always tell myself that I am nothing special and that he treats me the same way and the same level he treats others. Maybe he treats me as a daughter.

One time he told me that I shouldn’t be jealous for he does love me. He loves me very much. Well, I believe him though. But I guess it isn’t the kind of love I am hoping. :(

When he held me in his arms, I really felt the love and a deep concern he has for me. It is a genuine love. It is a true concern. He’s really a family man. He really cares for a family. And, I really admire and look up to him. He may be the kind of father I must have looking for. A father whose concern is real.

Sometimes, I asked myself why I always tend to fall to a wrong person. A wrong person not because he is a bad one, but because he is already committed to someone else. :( It’s a good thing that my angels and my prayers are still strong enough; strong enough to prevent me from doing things that I would definitely regret.

I am only hoping for the best right now. Besides, I have a daughter and a first love whom I should be entrusting my love as long as I live.

God bless my heart..

Ciao! :)

An Inspiration or a Reminder?

Reflections of Heart and Soul 1 Comment »

I noticed the picture of his wife and his children on posted on his station. I’ve known him for a year now, and he never had those pictures before, until recently. Sometimes, I thought of teasing him about those pictures but I didn’t. I guess it is normal for a married man or anybody to place a picture of his or her love ones on their desks. Looking at our love ones pictures inspire us to work and work harder. Thinking about them and the future ahead of them makes any fatigue we feel fades away.

On the other hand, it could also be used as a reminder that we are attached and we should keep our commitment. How can someone cheat if his wife is looking at him?!? Maybe I am just trying to encourage myself that he doesn’t feel anything special towards me. There are various occasions that I caught him staring at me and then he would tend to look at different direction. I may be foolish to believe that he cares for me more than a friend! But, to be honest, I feel that suppressed love. ? I know that I am not making believe or day dreaming. I can feel it. And that hurts me so bad. :( It’s just that he is so righteous and responsible enough to do what is right. I admire him more for being one.

I know that it would be best to pretend that I do not feel that “love” and that we’re good friends. It would be the best and right thing to do. Besides, he doesn’t tell me anything, and I know that he will never do. :(

*** *** *** *** *** ***

It’s a sad story yet, I believe that everybody can relate. When you love someone, you tend to sacrifice. And please try to connect your mind and your heart. When we’re in love, we always forget that our brains are placed on our head to conquer our heart. Doing what is right all the time will make your life easier and happy. Believe me. It is a fact! :)

Ciao! :)

On Marriage!

relationship, Something Good No Comments »

This is cute and inspiring! Read on.. :)

Marriage

There was once a man and woman who had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They kept no secrets from each other except that the old woman had a shoebox in the top of her closet that she cautioned
her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the
little old man took down the shoebox and took it to his wife’s bedside.

She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted doilies and a stack of money totaling $25,000. He asked her about the contents. “When we were to be married, she said, “my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doily.”

The little old man was so moved, he had to fight back tears. Only two precious doilies were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He
almost burst with happiness. “Honey,” he said “that explains the doilies, but what about
all of this money? Where did it come from?” “Oh,” she said, “that’s the money I made from selling the doilies. 

 

Nice… What do I do when I get mad with honey? Well, I just sing and read books! :)

Ciao! :)  

Secrets of a Successful Marriage

relationship No Comments »

Secrets of a Successful Marriage
(Chris Gallatin)

  • Having a wonderful partner
  • Communicating
  • Being intimately involved in one another’s life. (Open, honest, touching together. The closer you are, the more secure you will feel.)
  • Being happy as individuals. (And bringing good things to the relationship from both directions.)
  • Reaching out for dreams together.
  • Always being there for one another. (Always)
  • Overlooking the few flaws. (But cherishing the thousands of things that are so wonderful.)
  • Remembering that rainbow follow rain
  • Always sharing (Friends, families, dreams, desires. Weaving together the fabric of your lives.)
  • And always caring. (Always loving one another, and being as happy and as giving and as thankful as any two people could be.)

Hope these “secrets” will be spread out to many couples for a successful marriage life!

Ciao! :)

Marriage is Challenge?

family, It's my Life, relationship 1 Comment »

I am not married yet though I have a daughter already. There are things in my life that has to be arranged first before I say “I do.” It is a cliché that before you get married you have to think over and over again if you really are ready to face the complexities of married life. For me, love alone or getting someone pregnant should not the only basis why we should get married. There are many things to consider. Each one of us has our own reasons and considerations to think of before tying the knot.

And for those who decided to get into the married life already, challenges in marriage are things that should make husband and wife closer to each other and to God.

But then, getting married to the church with the one I will spend the remaining days of my life with is one of my dreams I will fulfill. I found this article from the book of Albert J. Nimeth, O.F.M. entitled Of Course I LOVE YOU, and I like to share it with you.

                                    Marriage is a difficult, demanding CHALLENGE.
                                    But perhaps we complicate it too much.

                                    Stripped to the bone, it is a HUMAN RELATIONSHIP in
                                           which each seeks fulfillment
                                                      by being valued by someone
                                                      by being aided by someone
                                                      by being needed by someone 
                                                      by being trusted by someone
                                                      by being oneself with someone
                                                      by being true to someone
                                                      by being able to share with someone.

 

“ I Do” means facing reality,.

Reality demands hard work.

Hard work is eased by communication.

Communication leads to Love.

Love creates unity.

 

(Christopher Notes)

Truth in Marriage

relationship 1 Comment »

A marriage is not strengthened
by telling lies
by hiding little things
by masquerading
by playing games.

Every time
truth is hidden,
a chance to enrich
the marriage bond
is lost.


Source:
Of course I LOVE YOU
Albert J. Nimeth, O.F.M.

Q on Love!

Something Good 2 Comments »

On Fidelity

relationship, Something Good No Comments »

Fidelity is paramount.
Marriage creates an inner circle the is EXCLUSIVE
ONE man, ONE woman.

To be footloose free and fancy as if unattached within this circle is CONTRABAND.

This does not mean you can’t look.
Even if you are on a diet you can admire the menu.

“Breathes there a man with soul so dead who never stopped and turned his head and said “not bad.”

Nevertheless, open marriage despite popularity CREATES more problems that it SOLVES.

We can kid ourselves just so far before the kickback comes relentless and violent.

Fidelity is SAFE and SANE. Fidelity is also RIGHT.

Let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of heaven dance between you.
Fill each other’s cup but drink no from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous
But let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though, they quiver with the same music.

-Kahil Gibran

Source:
Ofcourse I LOVE YOU
Albert J. Nimeth O.F.M.

Growing Old With You

It's my Life, relationship 2 Comments »

It’s my off once again, and I get up not so early than my usual. I fixed the bed and started organizing my closet. Then I stumbled on a photo album which I have not seen for quite a long time. I sat on the bed and browsed through its pages. It was I and ney’s photo album. I made that album about 3 years ago. It has our pictures from our trips when Nonet is still not around. I felt good as I look at the album and thinking ‘bout the old times we spent together.

Having Nonet around made a big difference in our lives. But as what most people say, even if ney and I will have more children in the future, in the end it will still be two of us together. Our children will have their own partners and families. Eventually they will have their own children to take care of.

I told myself, that even if our children will send ney and I in some homecare in Surprise Arizona, that would be fine. As long as we’re together and we will grow old with each other, I will be very happy. :)

True Love

relationship, Short Stories 6 Comments »

Moses Mendelssohn, the grandfather of the well-known German composer, was far from being handsome. Along with a rather short stature, he had a grotesque hunchback. One day he visited a merchant in Hamburg who had a lovely daughter named Frumtje. Moses fell hopelessly in love with her. But Frumtje was repulsed by his misshapen appearance. When it came time for him to leave, Moses gathered his courage and climbed the stairs to her room to take one last opportunity to speak with her. She was a vision of heavenly beauty, but caused him deep sadness by her refusal to look at him. After several attempts at conversation, Moses shyly asked, “Do you believe marriages are made in heaven?”, “Yes,” she answered, still looking at the floor. “And do you?” “Yes I do,” he replied. “You see, in heaven at the birth of each boy, the Lord announces which girl he will marry. When I was born, my future bride was pointed out to me. Then the Lord added, ‘But your wife will be humpbacked.’ “Right then and there I called out, ‘Oh Lord, a humpbacked woman would be a tragedy. Please, Lord, give me the hump and let her bebeautiful.’ “Then Frumtje looked up into his eyes and was stirred by some deep memory. She reached out and gave Mendelssohn her hand and later became his devoted wife.

Barry and Joyce Vissell

Chicken Soup for the Soup

Rise Above the Struggles of Marriage

family, Holy Scriptures, It's my Life No Comments »

The first topic that was discussed is about Struggles in Marriage. I am not married yet but the things I learned from it are good enough for me to have a happy married life and to the strength to overcome the struggles that I and my husband will encounter.

The speaker of the topic was Diday. I didn’t get the chance to note her last name. I don’t remember if the host mentioned it either. Well, I learned that a lot of marital problems are caused by communication problems, incompatible with spouse, emotional and physical abuse, etc. Why? Maybe, because of their ignorance to God’s design for marriage. Or maybe, because they have not consulted or read the manual for marriage, the Bible.

Why do couples get married in the first place? Is it because she is pregnant? (This is a common reason today) Is it because, he or she completes you? Is it because, you found your happiness in him/her? If your answer to these questions is yes, then your marriage will likely to fail.

How come? The only source of true happiness is God. Only God will complete us. When couples get married they have to undergo struggles in their marriage. It is designed by God for He wanted them to be closer to Him.

In her talk, Diday presented the most common reasons why marriages are in trouble today.

1) UNMET EXPECTATIONS
We often find ourselves disappointed when we get into relationships or into marital relationship. We have so many expectations that when not meet, we get sad and lonely. When a woman marries her husband, she often has these expectations from her husband:

a) My husband is supposed to make me happy
b) My husband is supposed to serve me
c) My husband is supposed to fulfill my longings. He should “complete me.”
d) My husband should be willing to change if he loves me.

No matter what we do, our husband will never change unless God changes him. Why not concentrate on his positive attitudes. Let us put all our expectations to desires and bring them to God.

Even in our everyday life, whatever our civil status is, we have so many expectations which often disappoint us if not met. Let’s turn these expectations to desires and surrender them all to God. This way, we will never be disappointed again.

As what Psalm 37:4 promised:
Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”

2) IGNORANCE OF GOD’S DESIGN FOR MARRIAGE
I am not married yet but I am happy to know what’s God’s design fro marriage. God’s design for marriage can be found in these Bible verses.

a) Genesis 2:18 It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Hmmm, did I read that verse correctly? Helper? A wife is a helper? Today, we call our “kasambahay” or our servants as helper. Does that mean that a wife is simply a helper?

Well, Diday was able to clear that pretty well. God created a helper for a man. If you look closely at the original meaning from the phrase “ezer kenegdo” – woman was to be the man’s companion, someone who could complement him. The word ezer is used only twenty times in the entire Old Testament. In every other instance the person being described is God himself, when you need Him to come through for you desperately. This means that the woman’s role is to stand by her husband and to come through for him when he needs her.

b) Genesis 2:24 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”
If we look deeper into that verse, there are actually 3 commands.

First, man shall Leave his father and mother

God commands that we are to leave our parents to start a permanent relationship with our husband and to start a family of our own. It does not mean that we cut our ties with our families, but it means that our ties with our parents will have to be changed so that we can give our full commitment to our spouses. Married couples are not to run home to parents when there are conflicts and problems. Instead they must try to settle their problems on their own.

Second, the husband and wife should cleave

To cleave to one’s spouse means that we are to be glued to one another. We are to be like pieces of wood that are glued together. God desires that the couple act as one and have unity of purpose. This means sticking to our husband mo matter what.

That statement is kinda hard. What if your husband is almost killing you to death? Lift him up to God. Surrender him to God, and He will do the rest. I know and I understand that a lot of you may contest about it, for it is true that it is easier said than done.

Third, God designed couples become one – not only physically, but in mind and spirit

The command to be united means that marriage was meant by God to be monogamous. Obviously, one cannot be united to many. The command also means that the marriage is to be between a man and a woman as obviously God has designed the physical union to be heterosexual.

c) Ephesians 5:23 “For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.”

Whether we like it or not, God has chosen for the man to be the head of the family. Allowing our husbands to lead in everything gives them the opportunity to be what God had intended them to be.

d) Ephesians 5:25-25 “However, each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

Our husbands will present us to God. They’re accountable to God on how we will be at the end. In return, we must respect our husbands inspite and despite of. It’s like an unconditional respect, for God designed them to be the leader of the family and needs to be respected. Even if you don’t feel love, still respect your husband.

3) MISUNDERSTANDING of GOD’S PURPOSE of MARRIAGE

Diday started the third common reason why marriages are in trouble with a passage from the book of Gary Thomas, Sacred Marriage.

“If happiness is our primary goal, we’ll get divorce as soon as happiness seems to wane. If receiving love is our primary goal, we’ll dump our spouse as soon as they seem to be less attentive. But if we marry for the glory of God, to model His love and commitment to our children, and to reveal His witness to the world, divorce makes no sense.”

As I have mentioned in the first lines of article, if your answer to the questions I’ve asked is yes, then your marriage is on the brink. We need to stop asking marriage what it cannot give – perfect happiness, a life without conflict and an answer to all our dreams. Because whether we accept it or not, God had designed marriage for purposes higher that ourselves – so that we may be brought closer to Him and so our union may bring glory to Him.

Whatever struggles you are undergoing in your marriage is something that God can use to change you to become more like Him. As we relate to our husbands, as we love and respect him unconditionally, as we forgive him endlessly, as we care for him in humility and respect, God is producing is us the character that He has designed for us to have.

John 1:2-4 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

Many times God will bring you to a point where the only answer is faith in who God is and hope that in time all things work together for the good of those who love Him. Through the darkness, many times God is all we have.

Psalm 127:1 “Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain”

We have the choice of asking God to take over our marriage and surrendering our life to Him. This invitation is always open to all of us.

Joel 2:12-13 Even now, declares the Lord, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning. Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity.”

There are so many things we learned from Diday. And through her, God has spoken to us. Will you trust God? Will you put you hope in Him? The choice is actually yours today. :)

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