Something to Think About

A Little Laugh No Comments »
  • Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
  • If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
  • Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
  • Why do we choose from just two people for President and 50 for Miss America?
  • Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?
  • Why do thaw and unthaw mean the same thing?
  • Sooner or later, doesn’t everyone stop smoking?
  • Since bread is square, then why is most sandwich meat round?
  • Can you cry under water?
  • If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
  • If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…Does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?
  • Why don’t you ever see the headline Psychic Wins Lottery?
  • Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
  • I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
  • If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles and submarines be shaped differently?
  • How can the weather be “hot as hell” one day and “cold as hell” another?
  • Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called “rush hour”?
  • Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
  • Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?
  • When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
  • Why is bra singular and panties plural?
  • If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

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Mess with Kids? Think again..

A Little Laugh No Comments »

I found this very cute, let’s have a little laugh..

7 reasons not to mess with a child (True Stories):

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”. The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.

  

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.” Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”

  

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to “honor” thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, “Thou shall not kill.”

  

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.” The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”

  

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, He’s a doctor.’ A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher, she’s dead.”

  

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face..” “Yes,” the class said. “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted, “Cause your feet ain’t empty.”

  

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

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