God keeps the love grow

It's my Life, relationship Add comments
I was 18 years old when I went through a terrible heartache. My first love and my first boyfriend got his ex-girlfriend pregnant. It was a pain which other may call, “tagos to the bones”. I remember having dinner with my family, when I would suddenly cry because of the pain. As part of healing, I prayed the holy rosary as often as I can. I hear mass every Friday and light a candle at the grotto for emotinal healing. I prayed and prayed harder.
When I was studying for an upcoming exams, I decided to open my Bible and see what the Lord is going to tell me. I just opened the Bible randomly and to my surprised, it opened in 1 Corinthians. I believe that God has really spoken to me then. The exact verse where my fingers landed on was; 1 Corinthian 13:4-13. Here’s what is says:

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

I hold this verse into my heart. I cried and cried after reading the passage. I knew that God is there with me especially during those painful days. I continued to pray and hear mass and light a canlde for my personal healing. But, I asked God through Mama Mary, that if ever ney and I would be together again, then send me a red rose.

On the same year, I was invited to participate in PREX, or Parish Renewal Experience. My relationship with the Lord is deepened through this seminar. I know that God loves me and all, but I learned to put everything under His charge. It was really an experience. :) On the last day of the seminar, we received letters and flowers from family and friends. I share the table with my godsister, Katrina and I saw our common friend Pete holding two roses. I knew already that one will be given to me. I just don’t which will be given to me. As he approached our table, my heart was already beating so fast that I could hardly breath. Then, he gave me the red rose. It was a happy moment. Though I didn’t realize yet the greater pain that I need to go through.
My friend Pinky, told me once, that when it is right, things and situations are simple, but when it is wrong, then things are complicated. True enough. Ney and I were in each others arms again after five years. But things, were not as simple as they were. We have gone through so much to fight for this relationship. I have fought for him and for love. But maybe, those are not enough, if God is not with you in the fight.
We have different beliefs when it comes to faith. Often times we argue about faith. He criticize my faith as Catholic. He criticize the priests, the practices and all that goes with my faith. And, I am hurt. Sometimes, just to prevent the argument which will lead into a fight, I just keep quiet yet in my silence, I pray to God that He will send the Holy Spirit and enlighten his mind. I pray to Mama Mary and I pray to Jesus. I pray everyday for his conversion. And up until today, I continue praying for him. Especially for his safety.

It has been 12 years since, I read that passage from the Bible. It says that the three remains, faith, hope and love. And the strongest of them all is Love. But, love without God is useless. Love without God will never flourish, it will never grow.

Inspite of all that we have gone through, I still got a priceless gift. I have my daughter whom I know will be a better and wiser woman than her mother. Right now, I only pray to God for Tata’s happiness and good welfare. I cannot just throw all the good times we had and besides, he will always be the father of my daughter.

God bless us both!

Ciao! :)

Leave a Reply

WP Theme & Icons by N.Design Studio
Entries RSS Comments RSS Log in