A Girl’s Notebook :)

I have not updated this blog for quite a long time. I have been lazy writing. These past few days, I was in despair. Being the eldest member of the family, I have take over the place of my father as the bread winner since he passed away about a year and a half ago.

Papa suffered stage 4 Lymphoma. On his deathbed, during his last breath I promised him that I will take care of my family. I asked him to let go because we saw him suffering already. We on the other hand are suffering as well. I talked to him and asked him to give in and just go where he needs to go. He lost consciousness then already. I told him not to worry anymore and I’ll take care of my mother, my two sisters and his much loved granddaughter, my daughter, Antoinette.

And so he went to his final destination. He left me with all the obligations and responsibilities for our family. I was not born with a silver spoon. And I have always wanted to give the best that I can give. I’m happy working for them. It’s just that I have my own family to take care as well. Honey understand the help I’m giving my family. Though there are times that we had arguments for Tonet and Tata are being left behind in my priorities.

I have a good job and I thank God for giving me one. I am not complaining about these obligations. It’s just that, sometimes I get tired and exhausted. Lately, I don’t know how to budget my salary. My sister, who should be helping me with our family, quit her job simply because she is tired.

I have been working for 5 years and never thought of resigning from the company I’m working for I know that I need to work. There are times that I really wanted to quit working and just join honey wherever he is, but I can’t. Mama is always bragging me about getting married but she doesn’t realize that I can’t marry yet because of them. Sometimes I asked myself, up to when should I be working for my family. I have sent my sister to college and I was hoping that she’ll be able to help me.

I’m not complaining though, it’s just that I also get tired sometimes. I love my family and I will still be here for them no matter what. Maybe I just need some relaxation and unwinding

I have told Essa and Jayson that I have tried blogging about Hollywood for the sake of traffic but it’s really not me. I don’t know, but I’m more on my personal experiences. Things I have learned as my journey in my life continues.

Just the other day, when I was going to Alfonso Supermart , I met Ate Tess. She told me to go back to Legion of Mary, where I have been a member for about 20 years, I believe.

Yes, you read it right. I was a Legionary. I believe that once a Legionary always a legionary. I have not attended the weekly meetings of Legions for about 3 years now, due to some work related and personal reasons. I may have been physically away from Legion of Mary, but the legionary in me will never be gone.

I used to be a president of one Presidium, Our Lady of Mercy in our church. How I miss attending seminars, outdoor functions and being with our junior members. I miss going to Orphanage and reach out to the abandoned children and make them feel that they are special and God loves them so much.

I know in my heart that sooner or later I will be going back to Legion. I know at some point in my life I have disappointed God and Mama Mary. Yet, their love for me is still unconditional. I know that I still have the same place I have in Mama Mary’s heart and in God’s heart. I may have sailed away but the love and care, they have for me as a daughter will never vanish.

These are the things I miss..

This is what we call the Tessera. It contains the Legionary prayers. It is being said during the weekly meetings. The word Tessera means tally or token.

This is the vexillium, I hope I spelled it correctly. We used this during the annual Acies. It is when we pledge our loyalty to Mama Mary being her soldiers. This can be seen in other Legion functions as well. 

This is Frank Duff. He is the founder of Legion of Mary. He founded Legion of Mary in Dublin, Ireland on Sept. 7, 1921.

To know more about Legion of Mary just click here.